How 'Hamilton' Are You?

RFH 2010

Thu, Jan 01, 2009

John Hubbard Asks:
'More Beauty Shops or Pizzerias?'
Find Out How 'Hamilton' You Are
I have now lived in Hamilton for 30-years, not counting the four years spent as a Colgate student and believe me no one is counting those.

While no longer considered merely passing through, I am not yet a Hamiltonian, a status some of us will attain only in our obituaries. If then.

Hamiltonians, I have determined through close study of the species, exhibit distinct, peculiar even, characteristics and thusly a test has been developed to accurately assess one’s worthiness. Please keep score to discover if you have indeed put down roots or if the Villagers are just being polite until you leave.

Quick! Does Hamilton have more beauty shops or pizzerias?

What do Sushi Blues, La Iguana and Main Moon have in common? In these recessionary times, Colgate’s newest international study groups.

When old timers say Hooks Wiltse could bring it what are they talking about?

The best month in Hamilton? All are great but April when the daffodils bloom is a strong contender. July wins though.

Name the five trees of Five Trees?

Using the bluebooks provided, please write a short essay on why Colgate University is in Hamilton and Hamilton College is in Clinton.

Quick! Does Hamilton have more pizzerias or arts organizations?

You just might be a Hamiltonian if you have ever gardened in a parka.

On the maps provided, chart the quickest route from East Hamilton to South Hamilton and on a separate piece of paper explain why there is no North Hamilton or West Hamilton.

Author. Painter. Looks more like Lincoln every year? Hugh Humphreys

Why is the Barge Canal Coffee Co. is situated above the Chenango Canal. Discuss among yourselves.

If you have ever referred to a cow as “he,” subtract three points.

If you tell friends you will meet them in the “park” for the Farmers Market you are disqualified. And even if you know it’s the Green but you can get in and out in less than an hour on Saturday mornings -- no way you are a Hamiltonian.

Name the three works of art that make every trip to the post office a delight? Hops Harvest by Denise Stillwaggon Leone, the history of Hamilton by Lee Brown Coye and The Messengers, a relief sculpture done in the 1930s.

You just might be a Hamiltonian if you are hoping Larry Baker speaks at your funeral.

The Bicentennial banner was out of this world. Explain. Flew aboard the space shuttle Endeavor in March of 1995.

What Hamilton institution exists to Light the Future? The library.

People in Lustron houses shouldn’t throw what? Porcelain. The house at 19 Hamilton St. one of only 2,500 constructed nationwide.

What do Howard Jones, Emerson Jones, Randy Jones have in common? All Joneses

Elaborate on Old and Weary, Wings and Taters and Cold and Cloudy. The Ontario and Western Railroad, Hamilton signature dish, typical weather.

If you own a watercolor by Robin Jaycox you just may be a Hamiltonian.

Do you think Alexander Hamilton got the nod over Elisha because Payneville sounded too menacing?

Best memorial? The sundial for Christie Loop that reads, “I count none but the sunny hours.”

If you take a certain pride in knowing that slices come plain only you just may be a Hamiltonian.

Who sits on Hamilton’s front porch? Phil Bradley

If you feel as if a boil has been lanced the day after Colgate graduation, you just might be a Hamiltonian.

The toughest hole at Seven Oaks? The 19th hole, of course.

Imposing business blocks, handsome residences, charming surroundings. An 1896 description of Hamilton. Who says the place is changing too much?

Big Norm – too big or just right?

If you had serious face time with the Dalai Lama you may be a Hamiltonian or you could be merely enlightened.

If 13346 -- the Hip Zip makes you cringe you just may be a Hamiltonian.

Name a better fundraiser than Dave Rhyde’s tie of the game campaign? Hasn’t been one.

If you have ever gone a day without your medications because you didn’t want to triple park in front of Crowe’s you just may be a Hamiltonian

Diagram your solution to the Five-way intersection and pass the papers to the front of the room.

If you’ve ever tugged for the jug you ARE a Hamiltonian.

If you have ever wondered where the Second Baptist Church is – forget it!

If you have ever referred to Taylor Lake as the duck pond please return to Westchester County.

If you were delivered by Jackson Thro, been patched up by George Gillmore or had Ivan Gown replace something you just may be a Hamiltonian.

Explain the Colgate conundrum in 25 words or less.

If you have moved to Hamilton to retire, good. If you have moved to Hamilton to open a business, better.

You just may be a Hamiltonian if you have ever:
+ Snuck into Huntington Gym
+ Think the Fourth of July is too crowded
+ Knew either Nichols or Beal
+ Had a pick up game of any kind at Triangle Park

Blue Parsley Boys are: A particularly nefarious off shoot of the Loomis Gang, Organic farmers, merry songsters?

What has three oak leaves, a five-petal flower, a thistle and a torch? The Village Seal.

If you have lived in your house so many years it is known as your house and not some previous owner’s you just might be a Hamiltonian ... but probably not for long.

If you think the fountains on the Village Green fit right in, subtract five points

Fortnightly Club for sure, Hamilton Club, probably

Which one is Adam and who is Eve?

Using nothing but hand gestures illustrate the mission of the Partnership for Community Development, the Hamilton Initiative and the Hamilton Business Alliance.

If you are a member of SOMAC or the Fire Department you are definitely a Hamiltonian. If you serve on a board, yes!

The best part of going to the movies at the Hamilton Movie Theater is? Chuck Fox’s various promotions, Donna Jarcho’s cookies, three screens, no waiting. Actually, the slide show before the previews.

If you secretly wished you lived in Earlville during the whole Skippy the Ice Cream truck debacle you just might be a Hamiltonian.

A show of hands, please. Who wants the Frog Jumping Contest back as part of the Fourth of July?

If you feel Colgate could have saved millions by simply re-opening the Bluebird you just might be a Hamiltonian.

Match the following phrases with former Hamilton businesses:
Whose Hungry?
We’re all idiots on the bus.
Of course, we can gift wrap that.
Far out!

The Trillium
Hickey’s
Jack and Rosemary’s
The Crimson Strawberry

If you ever bought a suit at Baum’s, the Times at Rausa’s, pens and pencils at P.M. Jones or “a little something” at Mac’s Cordials you might be a Hamiltonian.

Who ran John’s Shoe Shop? Maphford and Judy.

Which one is the town office and which one is the village office?

Which is fastest: Nancy Heck’s bike, Dave Buterbaugh’s garden tractor, Eric Starkweather’s Harley, Leo Kiley on foot? Mr. Kiley in a breeze.

Best day ever in Hamilton: the Great Chocolate Train Wreck, the Emerald Knights coming home with a state championship, Andy MacDonald bringing the Stanley Cup here? The answer – today, of course!

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John Hubbard is director of public relations and development at Community Memorial Hospital and is often seen photographing almost every aspect of life in Hamilton.